We carry on

and the tribulations become so futile

we hate ourselves for even caring

while the memories lay dormant

like sediment behind a dam

but all dams fail without upkeep

and everything we’ve pent up

comes cascading out of ourselves

pouring out like a river of emotion

And I thought the walls were steady

I thought I was ready

But it’s a funny thing

to open yourself up to another

when even the most trivial of moments

seemed so real at the time

consequences of avoiding it for so long

connection, openness, vulnerability

And with each attempt

your heart is ripped a bit more

So we build our walls

and we lay the dams

and we keep our pride untouched

hoping they will appreciate such a blank slate

But having no scars from failed attempts

does not make you any less vulnerable

no, it will only make it that much easier

for your heart to succumb to the simplest of affections

and when they pull back their veil

and you realize you’ve been fooled

you will have wished your heart had some experience

you would have wished your dam had failed

at least just once before

because with each trial and each tribulation

comes an opportunity to learn

and while it may never be indubitable

you can learn to love, unrepentantly

through each experience, comes strength

and a deeper, introspective look

because maybe loving another

is really just a lesson

in learning to love yourself.

 

 

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