and the tribulations become so futile
we hate ourselves for even caring
while the memories lay dormant
like sediment behind a dam
but all dams fail without upkeep
and everything we’ve pent up
comes cascading out of ourselves
pouring out like a river of emotion
And I thought the walls were steady
I thought I was ready
But it’s a funny thing
to open yourself up to another
when even the most trivial of moments
seemed so real at the time
consequences of avoiding it for so long
connection, openness, vulnerability
And with each attempt
your heart is ripped a bit more
So we build our walls
and we lay the dams
and we keep our pride untouched
hoping they will appreciate such a blank slate
But having no scars from failed attempts
does not make you any less vulnerable
no, it will only make it that much easier
for your heart to succumb to the simplest of affections
and when they pull back their veil
and you realize you’ve been fooled
you will have wished your heart had some experience
you would have wished your dam had failed
at least just once before
because with each trial and each tribulation
comes an opportunity to learn
and while it may never be indubitable
you can learn to love, unrepentantly
through each experience, comes strength
and a deeper, introspective look
because maybe loving another
is really just a lesson
in learning to love yourself.